Author Topic: PROFESSIONAL LOVING  (Read 2178 times)

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Offline Roxy

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PROFESSIONAL LOVING
« on: January 05, 2011, 04:55:58 AM »
Recently, I was asked why I chose my profession, & why I continue doing it. The question blindsided me at a time when I was actually feeling quite vulnerable. The love of my life had just swept in and out of my life (& bed) again with the greatest of ease. The kids had made it patently clear how AWESOME holiday life was over in the enemy ex's camp. My so-called best friend didn't even call on Xmas or NYE. To put it bluntly - I was feeling like shit. So, being leveled with such an existential quandry as that really did give me cause to ponder...

It is true that my job can be difficult. However, the content of my occupation is not the difficult part. A true sex worker is born, not made. It’s like being an artist, which in many ways… it is. You are either meant to be one, or you’re not. You're not a performer - you exist in the moment. I dispute Paris & her infamous 'actress on a mattress' moniker... a great worker doesn't need to act. A great worker simply does what feels right, great & appropriate for the moment. This ability renders acting pointless and unnecessary, as you shouldn't have to act what already captures the mood and the moment!

What makes this a difficult path to take is the fact that the outside world treats sex workers very unfairly. We are judged soley on whatwe do for a living, not who we are as people. The double standard is suffocating, & infuriating. What also debilitates me is the fact that I give me everything to what I do… I truly do. Every person who sees me leaves with a little piece of me in his or her pocket. Unfortunately, there is rarely anything left for me.

Money cannot hope to compensate for what I give away, which is a teaspoon of my love in every session. Yes, it’s cliché, but it’s the only way I have to describe what I do. It hurts me to read the many wondrous ways in which my persona & my profession is minimalised for mass consumption. I honestly believe that there are few professional lovers as talented as I, or as destined to do what I do. Call me arrogant, but I really could not care less, anymore. Thus, it’s only natural that I would be aggrieved when I read about how my ‘performance’ is based upon such profound features like age and body size.

It's also distressing to know that very few people can handle being in a serious relationship with a sex worker. Sure, you have the endless line of would-be wankers who simply want a free root while the good mood lasts, & maybe some spare cash while you're throwing freebies into the air. However, the advent of someone truly worth the time and the effort is an unlikely event. Such people were chosen at birth like the Delai Lama - a handful, at best, for a few million hookers. So, the lottery isn't likely to swing in my direction anytime soon!

However, the prospect of somebody amazing, yet always out of the grasp of possibility, is never far away to taunt me. The object of my eternal desire has been a client for nearly 5 years now. To give you an idea of what league we are talking about, here: he once picked up Kimberley Davies (ex 'Neighbours' star) in a nightclub, some years ago. He still looks & smells dreamy, & still compliments me in looks, opinions & aspirations. We still talk for hours, confiding everything in each other. Yet, as of this afternoon, he still considers me a 'mate'. His 'bud'. An 'old faithful'. We are merely 'friends who fuck for cash'. He has no intention of being in a relationship again anytime soon, thank you!

Please excuse me while I pull the Croc Dundee knife from my chest...

Then again, I feel very blessed to have found my purpose in life. Very few people can say that they have found their niche, their true calling. I know, & have met, several people who are still still stumbling blindly on their path through life. Their best years have long since gone, & they are still idling away on the road to nowhere. I, by contrast, have the indulgence of knowing that this is what I was put on this godforsaken mudball called Earth to do, whether society likes it or not. Not many people can do what I do well. Even fewer can do what I do with consistent enthusiasm, compassion & broad spectrum appeal.

Not everybody is blessed enough to be or feel loved. Other people are reeling from it, wounded and broken. Even more people experience love, enjoy it at home by the gallon, yet miss the desire often extinguished within a long-term relationship. Enter Roxanne, stage left! Whatever time increment you can afford, I become the embodiment of everything you desire, and are keenly missing. No one client is ever the same, no one booking can be considered a 'standard'. Every day is a brand new start, filled with the exciting possibility of meeting new friends and lovers. I am profoundly grateful to be doing a job I enjoy so thoroughly. Having been a slave to the wage before, I know that not everyone is as lucky as I am right now.

Maybe I’m meant to be alone, a social castaway lost on a sea of misunderstanding, marginalization, and loneliness. One thing is for sure, though. I know I can be thankful for at least one thing in life…

I have been given the gift of knowing who I am, & where I belong.

Isn't that the true mystery of life?

« Last Edit: January 05, 2011, 05:20:02 AM by Roxy »
Roxanne Wilde
*Making the World a Happier Place*

Offline addicted247

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Re: PROFESSIONAL LOVING
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2011, 01:00:07 AM »
hey hun,

just wanted to let you know that was a real intresting read its a real insight into your life its amazing what the internet has done to our lives anonynous people on here sharing there very intresting life stories.....

im sure you will meet MR RIGHT one day....

Offline Roxy

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Re: PROFESSIONAL LOVING
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2011, 02:18:28 AM »
hey hun,

just wanted to let you know that was a real intresting read its a real insight into your life its amazing what the internet has done to our lives anonynous people on here sharing there very intresting life stories.....

im sure you will meet MR RIGHT one day....

Hey babe, thanks for your reply! :)

At the moment, I'm not actually looking for Mister Right. I don't think that would be fair, given that the majority of men would have problems handling my job. If anything, I'd be more inclined to find Miss Right! :D So, I'm content for the moment to cruise along, make a living & have some fun at the same time!

I've been married twice, lived in several long-term relationships with both men & women, & now feel that it might be time to give being single a decent go. Given that I'm into variety anyway, this could be the start of the best chapter of my life!
:P
« Last Edit: January 09, 2011, 02:23:57 AM by Roxy »
Roxanne Wilde
*Making the World a Happier Place*

Offline justinl

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Re: PROFESSIONAL LOVING
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2012, 02:46:38 PM »
Go Roxy. You should write a book what with your experience and outlook on life.
Very refreshing.
I always used to say to my daughter, who never felt like she belonged anywhere, that no-one can affect how you feel unless YOU allow them to. Be someone special.

Offline Ruffles

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Re: PROFESSIONAL LOVING
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2012, 08:50:45 PM »
Hi roxy , as always very inciteful.

I have found from bitter experience it is tough tobe single but worth the effort to,learn to be at peace and content with your own company.

For me once I learnt to smell the roses, happy to be happy with my own company , happiness flowed, it infected others, and life is full of satisfaction.

Enjoy being single and have fun.
Xx